Overly dramatic text post.
I’m content with the fact that no one will read this.
Had another organic chemistry test today. I originally wasn’t going to take anything for it, but after thinking, I realized it probably wouldn’t hurt. I needed to do really well on it too, so I could drop my second exam, which was a 159/250, or a C+. My first one was at 209/250 after the re-grade, which puts it at a B+. If I can get around another B+ for this exam, I’d be sitting nicely at around a solid A- after the curve.
But anyway, I ultimately decided to take it. It was only one 60mg vyvanse this time, so I didn’t think it’d have a massive effect, considering last time I took vyvanse, I took it with a 18mg concerta as well. As my test was at 7, I figured taking it at 5 would give me sufficient enough time for it to kick in, thus saving me the trouble of having to parachute it. Not that I hate parachuting, but I just would rather have had it come as a gradual buildup, then a sudden shock.
Now these study drugs ultimately work because they bind to monoamine neurotransmitters, allowing more dopamine and seratonin to be released. I personally think that this allows one to study more, because they physically feel good doing it.
Now I don’t know if you know this, but I’m a chemistry major. It’s always been my favorite subject, I can’t explain it. I love the problem solving, the reactions, the compounds; all the reasons why most hate it. I think that’s what allowed this time to feel much different. When I took it to study biology last week, a subject I loathe, despite it’s popularity among pre-med kids, I just felt focused. I was able to effectively study, and as such, it served it’s purpose. But when I took it for this orgo test, well, something was different. It turns out my timing was near impeccable, and it started to peak right as I started the exam. So right away I was alert and incredibly focused. But about half-way through the test I noticed something. Taking the test felt strangely… good. And not like a sigh of relief good, but an actual feeling, so to speak. I felt as though I was eating the greatest chicken bacon ranch slice of pizza drunk while getting a blowjob. I don’t know whether it was because I actually knew the material, because I love chemistry so much, or merely because I was physically on something, but I didn’t care. I almost didn’t want to hand in that test, because I physically wanted to keep doing orgo problems.
In all, hopefully I do well on this test. If I do, I may have to keep these study drugs as an option if I want any chance of still getting into medical school. I might just sound completely retarded, but these are my thoughts anyway.
Now excuse me while I pull an all-nighter.